doubt-cast shadow

argh. am i making the worst decision ever in my life?

all day i've been mind-boggled and hampered....

someone needs to knock me back to my senses. NOW.

well, to start with, the four aces.... means yes. (you'll know what i mean.)

and this thing's about me.

about my feelings.

about who i am.

curious to know myself more, i pursued for the question...

and i really wish i didn't. it's just horrible.

yet, i never realized until that moment in time...

that i am such a very disoriented person. i thought i wasn't. it didn't show..

until the question buzzed through my mind................ again and again.....

"you're serious? you've let go?????"

"should i take it seriously?"

"what's the real score?....."

argh. this is terrible. yet...... and yet......

i've fallen for someone.... and i told her that... in the wrong time, i think......

i wasn't sure. yet i assured. dream on, me idiot.

i was in doubt. yet i assumed. dream on, me idiot.

what the hell was i thinking about then???

conscience speaking: fine. admit it, gab. you like her.

friend relaying: just let it flow.. who knows?

another friend: SHE LIKES YOU!

stop me. DREAM ON.

speaking of dreams... i dreamt about this. thursday. FOUR ACES.....

damn. i'm dazed....

i should have thought about it. i needed time...

and i badly need it now. it's time to be streetsmart...

but..... who needs smarty if you're in love? he doesn't matter anyway.

but.. am i in love??

or am i blinded by the great illusion of reality??

alas. alas. alas. alas.....

take me away, from the concerns of truth....

and bring me to a paradise of nothingness....

let time pass by... and leave my nerve-wracked mind alone!!!!!!!!