the rose, ... torn (epilogue?)

(js prom '05: last of 4 parts)
...and held the rose - too tight.
was there a problem??
don't you realize what you've just done?
fine. he took her away.
that's NOT supposed to mean you have an excuse to dance with someone else.
am i right?
a promise to yourself is a promise to yourself.
a last dance is a LAST dance.
she didn't hold a promise. YOU did.
let her dance with someone else. but let her be your last.
that's what you should've done.
anyway, the damage is done. you take the pain.
show her what you feel. can you do it?
when i was done, i opened my palm.
a petal fell to the ground.
my palm was holding a pile of rose petals.
i kept them in my pocket.
a "lasting" memory.
as i walked to the gate, i saw some disgruntled people sitting at the back chairs.
i wasn't alone, i suppose.
but the pain was still there.
----
an hour later, i was tucked in my bed..
but my mind was still rolling.
"hay. ang tanga ko talaga."
what did you mean???
i found myself letting out a faint sob.
why?
i couldn't sleep. three o' clock.
you missed her a lot. right?
you loved her.
you already had let go.
yet she's not out of your mind.
you hoped she felt the same way.
yet she didn't.
what did she mean?? hmmm....
i continued tossing and turning roundabout.
i looked up. five o' clock.
i didn't lay down again.