...fare-well.

it's just too much.
too tired of holding back.
excruciating pain radiates seamlessly.
a tattered heart's weary.
tears well up in his eyes;
yes, those dark brown eyes.
conquered by sadness.
then, deep in the night...
kneeling on a mattress..
engulfed in the eerie darkness.
sincere tears flow.
right from the crevices of his soul.
trying to forget.
but... it's too late.
++++
daylight.
yet, still hopeless.
searching happiness..
i found it in your eyes.
or so i thought.
for no matter what..
you never seemed to care.
never.
++++
now i knew...
that looking back at the laughter...
can make someone cry.
i'm missing you... like crazy.
++++
nevertheless...
i'm holding on.
that's the best i can do, anyway.
love you, or love you not...
i'll fall back to tears in the end.
i'm sorry.
what i can only say is, farewell...
----
hey, i learned something, two weeks back;
'goodbye is not the same as farewell'
what's the difference?
* farewell - derived from 'fare well' which means to do well
* goodbye - stresses the concept of leaving someone/thing
so i'm not saying goodbye.
----
if you might not know..
effective the day after next, i won't be posting anymore.
you might ask, why?
i felt that the last few entries were too articulated...
and i guess i said too much.
mind you, this web log is beginning to be a drama script.
so i'm stopping it at all costs...
..though i won't be deleting it.
this page will remain viewable for the generations to come. (hehe.)
and another thing:
this site is not dedicated to some 'very special someone' alone;
but to everyone who had been, in some way, a part of this passerby's walk.
*i'm not saying that it's not inspired by a 'very special someone', though.
----
well, all's well that ends well.
thank you all guys.
later i will be opening a new blogsite, anyway.
if you're still interested, click here.

the greatest thing i'll ever learn...

all we need is love...
yes. love. the most enchanting thing existing in this damn world where we are.
and, mind you, the only sensible presence i feel now...
... or, do i?
to love.. and to be loved.. in return.
frankly, i did. but as of now... no one knows - not even i who speaks (or writes..)
alas. the past...
hey girl, i know... you might have reminded me of way back then...
but before you did so.....
i missed you already...
so i'll hold friends with you, good lady. please...
----
*snap back to reality*
two weeks.. right?
and counting... not a word.
'til when will i last this way?
until when can i swallow the pain, as day by day i see you...
still the lovely smiling face you always were?
why am i doing all these... by the way???
why not?
dare i take your time for someone else, for a little chat's sake?
as if you care, anyway!!!
well, i do.
don't ask why, you know fully well what i mean.
do i have to say it? not now. not just... yet.
need not worry, darling, (poetic license, everyone! no malice meant.) you'll never fail to make me smile every day.
am i the one silent? and the one who's supposed to bring in the chit-chat?
i hope you don't mind, that i put down in words...
how wonderful life is...
now you're in my world....

a pain in my neck

"gabriel! ten laps, lahat ng strokes!"
i woke up to the stifled shoutings of my father.
he was outraged at the fact that i was just sleeping during the family reunion.
i had my reasons, however;
the other night i was black and blue all over the bed.
an irregular insomnia attack.
so i had to sleep; unfortunately i was not given my chance.
battling fatigue, i staggered to the shower room and gave in to the water.
a minute later i dived in the pool.
rising up, the rays of the sun aimed at my eyes.
that was when i realized that it was only about noontime.
for about fifteen minutes i continued my routine, going here, going back...
until i kicked at the wall awkwardly;
i screeched to a startling halt.
apparently, my father was sleeping this time around.
so i decided to stop the laps; i was almost finished, anyway.
--
monday morning.
a bright day. wonderful, looking for a great start.
yet i didn't get my wish.
facing the mirror (and to my disgust) there was a red blotch extending from one cheek to the other.
it's not the Mortel this time, however;
it was sunburn.
one thing's funny, though - it did not sear in pain... the way it was supposed to be. (thank God...)
but that was not the thing clearly seen.
and so i went to school.. all red.
red. mind you, i was bothered all day long by their taunts ang gibes...
yet, generally it was a nice day.... quiet, say.
[i'm sorry, mind's in a state of blankness.]